It was almost 3 years ago when I first met Hot Pockets?. I was young, dumb, and fresh out of high school. I had tried many different microwavable foods before, but nothing could fill me right. It was then that I discovered her. While walking down isle 14 something caught my eye. Pepperoni Hot Pockets 2 for 1 sale. Now I wasn't the kind of person to go after just any frozen food, I had certain standards.
I took her back to my place for a little one on one. Before long my stomach was telling me something was missing. I walked into the kitchen where I found her waiting on the counter. I slowly removed her plastic garments and inserted her into my microwave. For two minutes and thirty seconds I waited as she teased me with her smell. Then came the climax as I slid the six inches of cripy crust into my mouth.
I felt something I hadn't felt in ages. Pain. This thing was burning fucking hot.
I liked it.
I savored the next three minutes as I was pleased in ways I couldn't have possibly imagined. When it was all over I sighed a breath of relief. This was the best night I had since that giant pretzel I had on vacation. We saw each other from time to time after that, but nothing will ever be as good as that one special night we shared together.