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Hey, can somene make me a greeting card that says "Congratulations on your new Bachelor Pad"

With a picture of a man and a house, the man looking either really unhappy or suicidal or something.

BACKSTORY

A friend from school is breaking up with her boyfriend of 2 months pretty soon. He is moving into a place of his own pretty soon, and since her (and I, since it was my idea) are horrible, horible people we want this breakup to be really funny. So we decided to make this card. But since I suck at photoshop, I really don't know how to go about making it.

So, if you make the card for me, 1000000 HUGS FROM ME!! AND MAEBE BUTTSE!

Hey, can somene make me a greeting card that says "Congratulations on your new Bachelor Pad"

 

With a picture of a man and a house, the man looking either really unhappy or suicidal or something.

 

BACKSTORY

 

A friend from school is breaking up with her boyfriend of 2 months pretty soon. He is moving into a place of his own pretty soon, and since her (and I, since it was my idea) are horrible, horible people we want this breakup to be really funny. So we decided to make this card. But since I suck at photoshop, I really don't know how to go about making it.

 

So, if you make the card for me, 1000000 HUGS FROM ME!! AND MAEBE BUTTSE!

I will try, but my skills are not that great. At first I thought you meant a real one. My wife has American Grettings card software.... so I thought... lol

tried and failed

Okay, this is just a mock up.

Basic folded card. Front cover reads "Congratulations..." on a red banner across a normal looking door with locks and peephole. The inside reads "...on your new..." across the top and "Bachelor Pad" on the back of a large comfy looking seat. On the right armrest is his limp hand on a smoking revolver. In the left is a picture of a happy couple in his left hand. The top of his head is visible, leaning to one side, with his hair plumed up on the side due to the gunshot. No blood is visible. The room is bare except for one or two sad looking windows and a lame television. The seat my have a fabric patch on it to increase sad-lookingness.

I'll work on a real version if I get a chance unless someone would like this idea and can execute it. Useful information would be a basic description of what the guy and girl look like, so I can get the hair color and stuff correct in the photo, so it is instantly recognizable.

here's a couple of pictures, not exactly in card format. you could print them on the inside of a card or something

i like the first one, but use which ever :D