edmonton

WellHungElf · Post by **WellHungElf** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 2:25 am

smells

Gruffaluf · Post by **Gruffaluf** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 6:53 am

roadeh · Post by **roadeh** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 7:22 am

My work is sending me to Calgary for one weekend to take care of some stuff. I almost killed myself when I found out.

Sabin · Post by **Sabin** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 4:14 pm

My work is sending me to Calgary for one weekend to take care of some stuff. I almost killed myself when I found out.

I'm sry. Calgary is like texas north D:

Hamburglar · Post by **Hamburglar** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 10:44 pm

Edmonton Doesn't Suck
First published 9/4/1997

I've spent most of this summer hanging out in other cities, and what always surprises me is how much people in the rest of Canada think Edmonton sucks. It's too cold here. It's isolated. Hardly anyone lives here.

What people don't realize is that if being cold, isolated and sparsely populated adds up to suck, then this whole country sucks -- big time. Can you think of a colder, more isolated, more sparsely-populated country than Canada? (OK, Greenland, but don't get me started on Greenland. You know what I mean.)

The thing that's strange about Edmonton's bad rep is that people who think Edmonton really sucks generally think Calgary's OK. I can't understand this. Really, putting aside hockey rivalries for a minute, you have to admit the two cities are pretty similar. Maybe people prefer Calgary because it has more discos, corporate head offices, and a giant rodeo. Personally, I prefer Edmonton, because Calgary has more discos, corporate head offices, and a giant rodeo.

People probably respect Calgary because it got to be on TV once, back when it hosted the Winter Olympics. Being on international TV is pretty unusual for a Canadian city. Normally when a Canadian city wants to be on TV it has to pretend to be an American city, like Vancouver does in every episode of The X-Files. If they ever have the Olympics in Vancouver they'll probably change the street signs, rent some American-looking cop cars, and tell the TV audience the games are being held in Seattle.

That's probably why "big" Canadian cities like Toronto and Vancouver are always putting down the rest of the country. It's bad enough that you're barely large enough to make it into the international big city club, but the only way you can make it onto TV is to pretend you're New York for some crappy second-rate American TV show based on some crappy second-rate American movie like Highlander or FX. It's enough to give you an inferiority complex.

An inferiority complex would explain why Toronto built the CN Tower. Why else would a city erect a big penis-shaped object and stick it right on Lake Ontario, where people can see it from the States? If Toronto was a person it would be the kind of guy who shows up at nightclubs with a balled-up sock shoved down the front of his gonch.

Edmonton doesn't suck. We have a lovely river valley. We have a bunch of great festivals -- Jazz City, the Fringe, Klondike Days... OK, well, Klondike Days does suck, but we do have West Edmonton Mall.

Hmm. Actually, West Edmonton Mall kind of sucks too. But my point is that Edmonton has a lot of nice things. Like, uh, Bill Matheson. And that high level bridge waterfall.

If the people who put down Edmonton could only see that lovely waterfall, sending it's sprinkling beautiful droplets through the air, while lovely beautiful naked Bill Matheson romps and plays in the wonderful pristine North Saskatchewan underneath, I think they'd have to admit Edmonton is pretty cool.

So when I hear people from other cities putting down Edmonton, I just let it roll off my back. Let then display their insecurity by picking on a city smaller than theirs; at least I have the satisfaction of knowing I live in a nice city like Edmonton, and not in some shitty little hell hole like Red Deer. Man, does that town ever suck!

? 2000, Paul Mather

roadeh · Post by **roadeh** » Mon Aug 25, 2003 4:41 pm

Living in edmonton:

Pros:

-Not to big, not to small

-Whyte ave (100 bars/clubs within 12 blocks)

-River Vally (hiking, roller blading, biking, raping young girls in the bush)

-Good public transportation system for those who dont have a car

-Average job market. I have no problems finding a job

-Affordable cost of living. I only make 11.50 a hour and i can afford my own apartment

-Whyte ave

-Hot summers, cold winters. Snowboarding in the winter, water sking in the summer.

Cons:

-Winters can get very cold at times. -30 really sux

-West Edmonton Mall. Its always packed with annoying teenagers and there is never any parking

-Edmonton Oilers

-Edmonton Eskimos

-Edmonton Trappers

-Bill Smith

WellHungElf · Post by **WellHungElf** » Mon Aug 25, 2003 11:22 pm

i kid you rooodeh, I used to live there too. used to go to warps on whyte ave all the time. what be happenin?

roadeh · Post by **roadeh** » Wed Aug 27, 2003 4:27 am

Not to much mr. elf! How about yourself? What would you suggest I do for the few days im in cowtown?

nemo · Post by **nemo** » Wed Aug 27, 2003 3:18 pm

GRIGORI

WellHungElf · Post by **WellHungElf** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 1:23 pm

what is you like to do?