Relationships

[Pestilence]

I dunno, ive been thinking alot about life and love lately, is it really worth it? i mean if you know you love the person and what ever, is it really worth going through all that BS, to be with them...i know it might sound bad, but sometimes you just go through so much bullshit and you dont wanna deal with it anymore...

 

my situation:

 

So ive been with my GF a about a year and 6 months...we've been through it all... lol... i met her about 2 haloweens ago and she seemed like a really nice pretty girl, hell she was (well still is) We had alot in commun, we still do..anyways...for about 8 months ive been questioning our relationship...it started with small stuff, like her trying to get me to do shit i dont wana, stupid arguements, you know just anoying each other in general...eventually the stupid fights became more serious...then alot of stuff from her past began to come up, you know stuff comes up in fights...and i dunno i kinda started seeing things in a different perspective...realized why she'd sometimes do the things she does, why she was so insecure...for a while i thought i was gonna marry this girl...i know it sounds fucking gay, but i thought a really loved her...but with time we got farther apart and the relationship almost became about sex... i mean shit was fucked right before she went to florida, but we still managed to to fuck once or twice the night of prom and engage in lotsa oral sex the day before she left...

 

anyways...about 6 months ago i broke up with her (im not sure about exact time, could be more or less) As some of you already know it was like a 6 hour ordeal, alot of shit came out during those 6 hours some good some bad...the thing that fucked me in the ass was the fact that i saw her not even 3 days after we broke up, due to stress from school, work and the shit with me, she kinda developed a stomach ulser and went to the hospital, her fucking freinds called me and almost forced me go there...as soon as i saw her i missed her, but i tried not to show it...i spent about 4 hours with her in a little room and it kinda reminded me of all the fun we used to have...we ended up chilling afew more times, then one day we got back together (i know this sounds bad, but i think it was more hornyness on my part) from then i knew it was a mistake, but i didnt wanna hurt her again, i already did so much to her...afew weeks ago she made me goto her freinds house cause it was someone birthday, i really didnt wanna go, but i didnt say anything...while we were there i wasnt really feeling the greatest and she kept bothering me asking if i was ok, i ended up yelling at her...we got into a big fight and i told her that ive been regreting getting back together...but we ended up kinda working it out...this was about a month ago.

 

About 2 days ago she calls me from florida (shes on a 2 week vacation) and tells me she has something to ask me...so after about 20 mintues i finally drag it out of her. Apparently her aunt offered her to move to quebec and live with her and her cousin, and she wanted to know if she had a reason to stay...at first i told her if she wanted to she could, but she asked me if i loved her and if i wanted to be with her, i kinda hesitated and she knew i was questioning it...i ened up being truth full with her ( i know it sucks over the phone, but wtf she asked) and told her i didnt think it would work out and that a part of me didnt really want it to...we came to an agreement kinda...till she comes back we're still "going out", thats just so theres no friends "we were on a break" drama...andways she comes back on sunday night and im alittle confused, i know i dont wanna be with her anymore, but we've had so many good times...and id never see jack again, last october i found this gorgeous orange tabby and gave it to her. he ened up being probably the coolest cat on the planet, he coo's like a pigeon and has the most amazing personality (trust me i got stories about this cat, ask if you waan know) Anyways im confused and a little scared, what do you mother fuckers think?

 

also post stuff about bad relationships, what your going through, you know...

Post mother fuckers.... ;0 ;0 ;0

[Yucky1]

Whatever you do, talk to Kindred... that fgt has amazing insight on this girl crap. THX MAN! :fruit: :thumbup:

 

I think he is part woman.

[Pestilence]

Thank you sir, but like he said he wont be around too often anymore cause he wants to spend more time with his family before he goes...its only like 2 months away...anyways, dont you have anything to say about relationships?...sex offenders have feelings too...well atleast i think they do ;0

[Higgy]

Here's what I gather from my experiences.

 

 

Girls = WTF

 

If she's putting you through that much shit, the best thing to do is to walk away from the relationship and don't look back. Ignore her friends if they bother you, just walk away. TRUST ME, its just better that way. I went back with my ex a few months ago, only to have heart torn to shreds, I should have just walked away in the first place, and I would have been MUCH MUCH better off. In conclusion:

 

Girls = omfgwtfbbq

[Pestilence]

yeah i know, i regret answering the phone that night she was in the hospital

 

but this time we're done for sure

she called me again today and we discussed our problems with each other

she kept talking like she could just say something or do something to change how i feel, but i know she cant.

 

shes back in afew days, and when she does get back i am going to her house to see her, but that should be the last time

 

i wouldnt mind being friends, but that doesnt work right away

we need time to get over each other

[Yucky1]

Thank you sir, but like he said he wont be around too often anymore cause he wants to spend more time with his family before he goes...its only like 2 months away...anyways, dont you have anything to say about relationships?...sex offenders have feelings too...well atleast i think they do ;0

All I can tell you is.... this is what happened to me.

 

My lady is SUPER busy when she is in school. I would go up on the weekends and chill with her (2.5 hour drive). During our weekends together, she still needed to do homework, and if it wasn't homework it was something else that needed to be done. (Shopping, laundry, etc.) Basically, she needed tons of help on the weekends that were supposed to be our time. All we had time for on the weekdays was late night phone calls. She would finally be done with her day about 11pm, which didn't give us much time to talk. Even when we did talk... it was all about her.

 

So, all of that, and the fact we are 10 years in age apart, made me feel more like her parent rather than her boyfriend. O yeah, I forgot... she's the youngest in her family.

 

After almost an entire semester of this, I was pissed. I tried to talk to her about it before the summer came, and due to her being extremely busy, she basically said, "I know I haven't had much time for you, but I swear I'll make it up to you this summer." :(

 

Too little, too late for me. I helped her move down from school. She had no idea that we were through, she figured it out after I dropped her and her stuff off at her parents house.

 

I told her, I felt I do too much. She was totally secure in the fact that I can take care of any petty thing that would arise. On top of that, I made sure all her familial(sp) obligations were taken care of. What really burned me was I took care of her family's birthdays and Father's Day type stuff, even for her nephews and shit.

 

Most girls fall into a sence of security in a relationship. "Since my man does X, Y, and Z. He always will!" She did. I wasn't being thanked for helping her, I wasn't thanked for anything I was doing for her. It just got to be too much for me.

 

So in her front yard, with her eyes swelling with tears, I told her I was tired of being her dad, and I left.

 

So what did I do? I told the internet about it. Axe, mr_lee and Kindred were the doodz that listened mostly.

 

Kindred told me that I had to move on from my point of view. Look beyond what was going on. He asked me if that roles were reversed and if I needed help and she was the one providing it, would I believe she would do the same for me? The answer was yes. I did. Also, he told me to get over my 'father' feelings, because that was just due to the age difference. It was going to happen anyway.

 

After a couple of weeks of her and her mom calling me, I called her back. I told her I can get over the 'dad' issue, if she could let it be known to me how much I meant to her.

 

She said, "You will never feel that way again. I promise."

 

So what happens?

 

I get to do whatever I want! Food, movies, sex(this was important, during that shitty semester we probably only fucked like 30 times total), activities... for the most part, I get to decide what we do. My feelings and concerns have been in the forefront. While I am not that big of an egomaniac, its a nice change.

 

Possibly another thing that we do in this relationship is we rarely say 'I love you'. Too many people use that phrase and have no feeling behind it. I absolutely LOATHE it when people use it as a closing in a phone conversation. We came to an agreement long ago that we if we didn't know at the end of the day how we felt for each other(thru actions, not mere words), we were doing something wrong. So I asked her how do I know how you feel about me? It was just then she understood.

 

She asked for a second chance, and I gave it to her (thx kidnerd!) and everthing has been :cool: since.

 

Shit that was alot of typin.

 

Yes, I know this was poorly written. :darkstar:

[Pestilence]

wow man

 

i agree with the "i love you thing"

i said it afew times without really meaning it and i really felt bad about it.

 

i kinda wanna give it one more shot (you know the old saying 3rd times a charm)

but i know that chances are i wont wanna do it anymore and end up making it even worse for her

[Pariah Redux]

About a month ago I got in my first relationship ever... long distance, but whatever works, since there's no one in this shithole city of Stockton for me. We met through some LJ communities (lol angst) and her birthday is one day before mine. We have a ton in common, and haven't had any problems at all yet. We are already planning our lives together, because we both make each other very happy.. I think relationships are worth it, if you find the right girl... good communication is always a great fucking thing in relationships... civil, rational, and logical communication. Say you two are fighting over some really stupid bullshit, sit her down and explain to her, "Do we really need to be fighting over this?" It sounds lame as fuck, I know, but if you two truly love each other, then it's good.. and it makes everything a fuck of a lot better. Anyways, this girl was what was missing in my life, as my life was at the time going no where. Just finishing my last years of high school, then I'd probably go to a junior college then transfer somewhere else and eventually end up in Vegas as a bartender and card dealer, living my days watching Fox 40 News @ 10 and eating TV dinners.. I wanted a girlfriend so bad, it was all I thought about anymore. And if you are like me (I'm a weird one, so you probably aren't), I wanted a companion... for life, someone you could spill your heart out to, knowing she'd care and understand how you feel, and she would do the same. We'd be in love, and everything we did together would be fun. Now, I plan to move with her to San Fran and attend California Culinary Academy and become a chef (with her). I'm happy now, knowing that I have someone, that I love, ... a companion. She means everything to me, and I'd die if I ever lost her. Live wouldn't be worth living.

[Axe]

While this isn't exactly advice, I though I would share my thoughts on the matter.

 

It has long been my opinion that women are for the weak. My God would it suck to have the same bitch pestering you every day for the rest of you life. I don't plan to ever get married, and that doesn't bother me one bit. Too much drama, aggravation, and stress. I have enough of that with day to day troubles, I don't need someone always around me to add to it. Plus all the other crap that goes on with relationships: break-ups, divorces, lying, cheating, children, bloody revenge.

 

Women are fine in their own right, but this long term commitment stuff is not my cup of tea. But then again, I try to be a simple person with a simple life. I know my opinion is unpopular, but I look at whats beneficial to me rather than whats the norm.

[Pestilence]

wow man, thats awsome

 

i always wanted the whole companionship thing, but when i finally got it, it wasnt what i expected...and i never really spilled my heart out to her...sure ive told her things, but there are things about my life id rather not tell her about...i have alot of personal issues i need to deal with on my own...this is the kind of thing she could never help me with...nor would i want her to

 

shes back tomorrow, so i hope everything goes ok