The Best IRC Quotes

[Axe]

Please post all your favorite saved IRC quotes in this thread. There's a ton I have forgotten, so maybe you guys can help me out. Make sure you put an "@" in before the name or else it won't show up correctly.

Now to get things started:

 

oh, by the way, you have woman arms.

not really, but I have child's wrists

why is that?

because i cut them off some kid

 

my mom got me "real brewed" iced tea

it tastes like cold tea

iced tea is cold tea...

 

I heard a bunch of honkies and a jew got fried when they discovered the terrible secret of space or something

 

If jizz tasted like Krispy Kreme glaze I'd suck cock all day.

[Michael-Corleone]

<@mr_133> i once hacked into the iraqi mainframe with a bbc electron - it had 32k hd u know

 

<@rudesmurf> i got so excited i diconnected myself

 

<@Chomps> yeah, nyc is great if it wasnt for all them planes crahing into us

 

<@axe> how about you give me $100, ill kick you in the ass, and we'll call it a day

 

<@Nekton> duo has a brother

<@Nekton> theres two duos

<@Nekton> i see no point in living

<@Nekton> timekeeper and icehawk are planning to breed

<@Nekton> the world is ruined

 

<@rudeh> so then wjat is best pickup line evar?

<@N3ck3h> "get in the back of my van you fucking whore or i swear ill fucking slice your neck"

 

<@SafetyDancer> Duo, maybe you shouldnt have eaten your happy meal toy

 

<@Chomps> I wanna tell you, ladies and gentlemen, that there's not enough troops in the army to force the southern people to break down segregation and admit the nigger race into our theatres into our swimming pools into our homes and into our churches

 

<@KBC> $10 says Random won't get HL2 early and he'll just steal your money.

<@MikeJ> yea well i know where he lives and ill threaten to beat him up over IRC and then sit here and cry

 

edit: <@Nekton> winning a teen choice award is like winning a little piece of jesus christ himself

[BuG]

theres a lack of bug :~(

 

love always,

bug

[Michael-Corleone]

<@bug> i'm a super ninja faggot

[l0bstar]

?Chomps? who wants to see me do something really dumb?

?Kindred? So hwos work man

?rndm? work is alright

?dubey? hows the woman

?Kindred? I am on leave till the 31st

?rndm? lady is great

?PeterNorth? GO CHOMPS GO

?Kindred? WOOOHOOOOOO

?dubey? lool

? (..op..) ChanServ ops Chomps in #semicolon-zero

? (..kick..) Chomps has kicked Kindred (im an idiot ahaha)

? (..part..) Chomps [~Chomps@pool-151-205-125-227.ny325.east.verizon.net] [01:25pm]

?PeterNorth? olo

?obli? k

?rndm? OOLOLOLOL

?dubey? haha he left

-ChanServ:#semicolon-zero- Inviting Kindred

? (..join..) Kindred (~Kindred_w@a66b8n153client169.hawaii.rr.com) [internic Commercial] [01:25pm]

? (..op..) ChanServ ops Kindred in #semicolon-zero

?qu1g? yay

•l0bstar• lololoooo that was the 2nd dumbest thing i have seen chomps do

?Kindred? FUCK HE RAN

[coma]

< pikacheney > i dug up you're great grandmother bug

< pikacheney > her cunt tasted like SKELETONS

[JFK]

22:12] *** Joins: axe (~asdf@ma-falmouth2a-239.ply.adelphia.net)
[22:12] *** ChanServ sets mode: +o axe
[22:15] <@axe> lee
[22:16] <@MikeJ> axe
[22:17] <@axe> wut
[22:17] <@MikeJ> yo
[22:18] <@axe> im gonna tell nobody, whoop, and zombie to look for a new clan
[22:18] <@axe> no point in wasting their time
[22:19] <@MikeJ> well
[22:20] <@MikeJ> 1.4 is coming out u kno
[22:20] <@axe> so?
[22:20] <@axe> you still don't play cs
[22:20] <@MikeJ> i might
[22:20] <@MikeJ> do u
[22:20] <@axe> yup
[22:20] <@axe> i try to everyday
[22:22] <@axe> and then in time if you guys ever want to play we can start again
[22:22] <@axe> but we havent done anything for ages
[22:22] <@MikeJ> mainly cause of my mouse
[22:22] <@MikeJ> aiming is 90% of CS skill
[22:22] <@axe> they are serious players who just want to play cs, and thats not happening
[22:22] <@MikeJ> well i was serious till my mouse went to hell
[22:23] <@MikeJ> i was the most serious person in the clan
[22:23] <@MikeJ> i couldn't even get everyone organised for a practice
[22:23] <@MikeJ> and every time i tried to get a practice you all just said "this is pointless lets just play"
[22:23] *** Quits: pr0kch0p (~alexjones@sub26-133.member.dsl-only.net)
[22:24] <@MikeJ> before our second to last CAL match i must have watched about 10 demos of de_train
[22:24] <@MikeJ> from T and CT perspectives
[22:24] <@MikeJ> trying to see how to approach the strats
[22:25] <@MikeJ> and then i tried to educate everyone in the clan
[22:26] <@axe> mike, you yourself have left about 5 matches
[22:26] <@MikeJ> i have only left 1 CAL match
[22:27] <@axe> ok, well there were the scrimmages too
[22:27] <@MikeJ> and that was because it was our final match, we had not practiced ONCE, and everyone was goofing off
[22:27] <@axe> mike you were the person goofing off~!
[22:27] <@axe> you started that
[22:27] <@MikeJ> i leaves scrims if we aren't practicing. ?because there is no point in scrimming if you guys play like a pub, may as well play in a pub
[22:27] <@axe> not really
[22:28] <@axe> a pub is full of moron n00bs, you can still have direction without practice
[22:28] <@MikeJ> 5v5 scrim is nothing if you dont play organised and do what i lay out (based on watching other clans)
[22:29] <@MikeJ> i never left our de_dust2 scrims, because people where getting there shit straight
[22:29] <@MikeJ> and we acually won most of those
[22:29] <@axe> mike that would work if everyone was the same on both teams, but when one person on the other team can easily take out 4 of us its a lost cause
[22:29] <@MikeJ> yes, we where playing CAL quality clans in an OGL quality leagues
[22:30] <@MikeJ> the clans we where playing where practicly CPL material, because CAL open is 2 steps below pro
[22:31] <@MikeJ> unfornuately it is very hard to find clans at our level, because they are mainly like us...disorganised and idle.
[22:33] <@MikeJ> during our first 3 or 4 CAL matches before we left the league i was the most, if not second most, dedicated person in the clan. ?I worked on strats and plans 6+ hours a day, and i spend the rest of the time trying to get 5 different people into a server to hear me out for an hour.
[22:34] <@MikeJ> only to have them confuseably scramble about the map playing like pub hoppers, getting creamed when we turned the corner, etc. ?It just wasn't working.
[22:35] <@axe> well there you go, put the past behind us now, now i can tell nobody and whoever else to find a new clan, ill look around and see if i can find a clan to practice with, and you and kerpal can play jk2 all day
[22:36] <@axe> everybody will be happy
[22:37] <@MikeJ> i dont even play JK2 sept when random puts up a server for like 30 minutes
[22:37] <@MikeJ> i was just tired giving so much to a clan and not getting hardly anything in return
[22:37] <@MikeJ> so i gave up for the time being, and i will see how 1.4 looks in term of getting back into the ol rat race
[22:40] <@axe> ok thats fine, but youre still not seeing my point
[22:40] <@axe> no need to have other people waste their time on you not playing
[22:40] <@MikeJ> i just think your trying to blame the falling out on me
[22:40] <@MikeJ> when it wasn't me at all but the team as a whole
[22:41] <@MikeJ> i could of tried to keep us going after CAL but i couldn't of played in matches, not with this mouse
[22:42] <@MikeJ> im just one person axe, the clan "active" list is over 10 people. ?Last time i checked a match required 5 people.
[22:43] <@axe> ok the website hasnt been updated, ill change that to say 0 active members
[22:44] <@MikeJ> Have you even asked anyone if they want to be active or not? ?I saw a post in the semi0 forums, plus NK wants to join. ?And several;0 people play on the server alot.
[22:47] <@axe> ok, well the;0 people can stay around and waste their time, but im not gonna let other people outside of;0 waste their time
[22:48] <@MikeJ> who is waisting there time? ?Just because the main CAL rostered died doesn't mean semi0 is dead. ?Why dont you take over and organise the guys who DO want to play.
[22:50] <@axe> EVERYONE IN SEMICOLON-ZERO CAN STAY, THEN IF WE DECIDE TO PLAY WE WILL HAVE THEM, HOWEVER THE 3 PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT SEMICOLON-ZERO MEMBERS WILL BE TOLD THEY CAN SEEK A NEW CLAN IF THEY CHOOSE TO
[22:52] *** Joins: mr_lee (kaboom@tas133.dialup.csiro.au)
[22:52] <@MikeJ> ok...but you seem to think the clan is "dead". ?Its only dead if the leader goes inactive and the members do not wish to play. ?You (leader) are not inactive, and there are atleast 5 dedicated people who wish to play. ?So why send them off?
[22:53] <@MikeJ> just get an ACTIVE dedicated roster, and organise a get togeter on the server + scrim. ?See where to go from there (leagues, matches, organised scrims/practices etc)
[22:54] *** axe sets mode: -m
[22:54] *** axe sets mode: -b *!*@services.semicolon-zero.com
[22:54] <@axe> who was fucking around with the channel
[22:54] <@MikeJ> haven't touched anything
[22:54] <@MikeJ> i can lock modes, im sure it was kerpal
[22:54] *** axe changes topic to 'semi0'
[22:54] *** ChanServ changes topic to '[semi0] clan home www.semi0.com | I do not need you wonids'
[22:55] <@axe> i think it was dubey
[22:55] <@MikeJ> maby
[22:55] <@MikeJ> i can check the logs
[22:55] <@MikeJ> [20:18] *** Kerpal sets mode: +v sub^ds
[22:55] <@MikeJ> [20:18] *** Kerpal sets mode: +v nobody|cleaning
[22:55] <@MikeJ> [20:18] *** Kerpal sets mode: +v big_tex
[22:55] <@MikeJ> [20:18] *** Kerpal sets mode: +v Kungfubar
[22:55] <@MikeJ> [20:18] *** Kerpal sets mode: +m
[22:55] *** axe sets mode: +o mr_lee
[22:55] <@MikeJ> there you have it
[22:55] *** axe sets mode: -o Kerpal
[22:56] <@MikeJ> hes not in teh channel olol
-
[22:56] Kerpal is [EMAIL=k0k@lsanca1-ar12-170-144.lsanca1.dsl.gtei.net]k0k@lsanca1-ar12-170-144.lsanca1.dsl.gtei.net[/EMAIL] * wutfool
[22:56] Kerpal on #semicolon-zero #semi0 #chenet 
[22:56] Kerpal using irc.semicolon-zero.com Semicolon-ZeroNet
[22:56] Kerpal has been idle 1hr 19mins 42secs, signed on Tue Apr 09 06:58:22
[22:56] Kerpal End of /WHOIS list.
-
[22:56] <@MikeJ> wait he is o
[22:56] * @MikeJ is blind
[22:56] <@mr_lee> that's been tried :/
[22:56] <@mr_lee> <@MikeJ> ok...but you seem to think the clan is "dead". ?Its only dead if the leader goes inactive and the members do not wish to play. ?You (leader) are not inactive, and there are atleast 5 dedicated people who wish to play. ?So why send them off?
[22:56] <@mr_lee> [15:56] <@MikeJ> just get an ACTIVE dedicated roster, and organise a get togeter on the server + scrim. ?See where to go from there (leagues, matches, organised scrims/practices etc)
[22:56] <@mr_lee> [15:56] <mr_lee> that's been tried :/
[22:57] <@axe> well lee you missed the conversation thus far, but what im saying is the 3 people not from semicolon-zero should be told to seek a new clan, because we are just wasting their time
[22:57] <@MikeJ> well we have nk, +3 recruits, +axe, and maby others, the only thing holding them back (unless they dont want to play) is lack of communitcation and organisation
[22:58] <@axe> its mike how you of all people would argue against this, you being the one who leaves matches and always complains and refuses to play over your mouse or connection
[22:59] <@mr_lee> but
[22:59] <@mr_lee> no one wants to play seriously
[22:59] <@mr_lee>;0 ~ ??? Sessions Ten - Subliminal Sessions - Club Fiesta / Get Get Down Acapella ??? ~ 0;
[22:59] <@mr_lee> in a proper clan environment
[22:59] <@axe> exactly
[23:00] <@mr_lee> it's a waste of axe's time
[b][23:00] <@MikeJ> i tried to organise that enviorment, its hard when kerpal would rather be TKing, dubey would rather be watching TV, JFK would rather be drinking, my ISP would rather be making money than providing service[/b]
[23:00] <@mr_lee> so many time's he's tried to get everything going, organise matches etc but to no avail
[23:01] <@axe> its a waste of everyones time, think of lital ol nobody :(
[23:01] <@MikeJ> mr_lee, i'm the one that did ALL the organising and planning for every CAL match we played past the first 2.
[23:01] <@mr_lee> yeah the poor bloke :<
[23:01] <@mr_lee> yeah
[23:01] <@mr_lee> fair enough i'm not doubting that
[23:01] <@mr_lee> but then you gave up too
[23:01] <@MikeJ> i could never get anyone to listen for 5 minutes
[23:01] <@MikeJ> yea that is true....
[23:02] <@mr_lee>;<
[23:02] <@mr_lee> soooo
[23:02] <@axe> <MikeJ> i tried to organise that enviorment, its hard when kerpal would rather be TKing, dubey would rather be watching TV, JFK would rather be drinking, my ISP would rather be making money than providing service
[23:02] <@axe> you said it yourself
[23:02] <@mr_lee> there are a few seirous players in the uk that wnt to play with axe
[23:04] <@axe> mike, not only did i have to do a boatload of work for the clan, i had to cover for all your fuckups
[23:04] <@axe> after that last cal match it was me who had to write to cal asking us to be removed, i also had to appologize to each member of the other clan for your actions
[23:04] <@axe> you did a good job ruining the clan name though
Session Close: Tue Apr 09 23:05:34 2002

[sh3p]

<@mr_133-camping> i didn't mean a 'virtual girlfriend' you swashbuckling smack head

<Duo> NUKE THE INDIANS TAKE THEIR CASINOS

<+brangut> i became a couselor so i could tell rape victims they asked for it

<@pikacheney> i'm going to bring a small beaver <@pikacheney> and get my revenge the only way i know how

<+coma> only a complete fagot could brag about burning stuff at a festival on a irc channel

<+Chomps> i had sex with a dog by accident

<@bug> That was the least funny and most inanely stupid thing I have ever read.

<@bug> brb gotta change shirt ivegot cum all over the pocket;0 <@mr_lee> haha @mr_lee> the thing is bug i know you're being deadly serious

<+gl0ry> i wish the government would just cum in my mouth

edit:
<+chomps> CAN WE GO A SINFLE DAY WITHOUT HAVING THE WORD NIGGER IN THE TOPIC!!??

 

can we include semi0 funnies too?

[icehawk]

circa june 2001. a prime example of my stupidity.

<@ICeHawket> welcome to teh icehawk question hour

<@ICeHawket> for the next hour i will ask any question taht comes to my head

<@clouser> !

<@ICeHawket> How come paper is always made so thin?

<@clouser> cause it papre

<@ICeHawket> why are most glasses made out of glass, and why are they callled glasses?

<@ICeHawket> why not they be made out of stainless steel, or tin, and called tins?

<@clouser> cause they are made out of glass, and glass holds water gud

<@ICeHawket> clay does too

<@ICeHawket> fired clay

<@ICeHawket> why not clays?

<@clouser> no no no, not as durable

<@ICeHawket> ic

<@ICeHawket> then why not plastic?

<@clouser> and not as stylish

<@clouser> it's all about the stylee

<@ICeHawket> plastic is not stylish?

<@ICeHawket> plastic is not stylish?

<@ICeHawket> just because its not cheap?

<@ICeHawket> to be stylish=to be ?much monies

<@ICeHawket> er

<@clouser> no no no

<@ICeHawket> plastici s not stylsih

<@clouser> glass is inexpensive

<@ICeHawket> because itscheap

<@ICeHawket> so is plastic

<@ICeHawket> even more so

<@clouser> but glass it more... elegant even if u only pay a $1 for a glass

<@clouser> err

<@clouser> *is

<@clouser> u noe

<@ICeHawket> what makes it more elegant?

<@piak|homework> IT'S FUCKIN SEE THRU

<@ICeHawket> the fact taht its weight and density is different?

<@piak|homework> THAT = ELEGENT

<@clouser> <@piak|homework> IT'S FUCKIN SEE THRU

<@ICeHawket> PLASTIC=SEEE THROUGH

<@clouser> right there

<@piak|homework> olol

<@piak|homework> pALSTIC Is plASTIC

<@clouser> loolol

<@ICeHawket> plastic is see through though

<@piak|homework> THIS IA STUPID QUESTOIN

<@piak|homework> SHUT UP

<@ICeHawket> Ur "glass" holds no water

* ICeHawket giggles

<@clouser> i went 30-10 for my first cs game in 3 months with a 200 ping

<@piak|homework> THE FIRST GLASSES WERE MADE OF GLASS

<@clouser> gj me

<@ICeHawket> lololollo

<@piak|homework> THEN THE FANCY PEOPLE DRANK OUT OF GLASS WHILE THE POOR DRANK OUT OF LIE WOODEN CUPS

<@ICeHawket> pikai s getting upset

<@ICeHawket> See?

<@clouser> LOOLLO

<@ICeHawket> it comes down to how much monies u have

<@clouser> CAUSE HE TELLS THE TRUTH

<@piak|homework> YOU SLUT STFU THAT = DUM QUESTIOn

<@clouser> NO

<@ICeHawket> ?FANCY=RICH

<@clouser> GLASSES ARE INEXPENSIVE

<@clouser> FFS

<@ICeHawket> ?POOR= WOODEN CUPS

<@ICeHawket> SO IS PLASTIC

<@clouser> IN THE DARK AGES U FEWL

<@ICeHawket> yse

<@ICeHawket> isn't this the dark ages though?

<@clouser> I'D LIEK TO SEE THE POOR DRINKING OUT OF WOODEN CUPS NOW

<@ICeHawket> theres a country where people canot walk for lack of food

<@ICeHawket> no no

<@ICeHawket> they have plastic cups

<@ICeHawket> now

<@ICeHawket> or styrofoam

<@ICeHawket> i bet in teh dark ages if they had styrofoam, they wuld have drank otu of it

<@clouser> ...

<@ICeHawket> and europe wuld b a giant landfill of styrofoam cups

<@clouser> they would re-use them u noe

<@ICeHawket> cuz u cannot recycle styrofoam

<@ICeHawket> wut about when they were mushed?

<@ICeHawket> i like mushing styrofoam cups

*** gorktic (hoobar@c1689480-b.mntp1.il.home.com) has joined #semicolon-zero

<@ICeHawket> helps releive my stress

<@ICeHawket> and if u put glue on it

<@ICeHawket> it melts

<@ICeHawket> so u cannot repair them

<@ICeHawket> cuz nails do too much damage

<@ICeHawket> and they ddi not have tape

<@clouser> pls just stop

<@clouser> no more

<@clouser> or i'll throw myself down the steps

[pikacheney]

<bug> rudeh i loef u with 3/4 of my hert

<bug> the rest pumps bloof