I know there's a lot of you who are straight-A dorks who's biggest wrongdoing was forgetting to sharpen your pencil for a test (sup MC). Perhaps there are some of you, who like me, got in trouble when they chose to take a chance with some shitty school administration. The late 90's brought this incredibly stupid concept called "zero tolerance". For those of you unfamiliar with the term it meas school administrators, rather than making rational judgement, impose a maximum penalty to for *any* infraction.
My rap sheet:
5th grade - Me and two friends (well really my friend and his friend) decided it would be a great idea to go cover the back of the school we went to with silly string. It was located only across the street from where we lived so we did it and were back in no time. It was all removed by the time we went to school the next day, but all the teachers mentioned it happening. Well that one "friend" (see: friend's friend) couldn't take the extreme pressure and confessed that he did it and turned us both in as well. We had to do 14 hours of community service. That kid was a fuckass.
6th grade: I beat the crap out of the kid who had previously turned us in, in an unrelated incident. I was a #1 Mortal Kombat fan at the time so there were many flying kicks and such to be seen. In-school suspension.
I swear to mother jesus christ almighty I am not making any of this up, nor giving false details about the following:
8th grade: In english class we had to write a fictional story. I thought it would be hilarious to write a story about a gay guy named Trevor. Coincidentally, there was someone in my class named Trevor who I and everyone else hated. Despite this being a fictional story, I got an in-school suspention for what they called a hate crime.
10th grade: In my World Civilization class my friend had written "pokemon is gay" in big letters on the chalkboard. It stayed there for about a week and no one seemed to care. Another hilarious idea of mine was to erase the word pokemon and put in the word "Tony". Well "Tony" obviously didn't get our superb humor. He told someone before the class even began, and me and my friend were questioned by this walrus man and the school police officer. I don't think we had any punishment, but they said we would be reported for a hate crime.
11th grade: In my english class there was this dork teacher's pet I wasn't very fond of, and he didn't like me either. While passing out papers he intentionally stepped on my foot and said "you shouldn't have had your foot there". I responded with "You're gay". The teacher (who loved this kid) was right there and sent me to the office. I was suspended from school for 2 days for racist remarks.
Nothing else major happened after that. In summary, I got in trouble at school for using the g-a-y word. Not faggot or homosexual, but a slang term. No one I talked about really was gay, and I knew this, yet I am a horrible racist for this according to the schools and might as well be a KKK member. All in all, public education was a big mess and I'm glad it's over with.
Now please excuse me, I'm off to lynch some nigger faggots.